found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
