Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
