all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
im on a boat
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