forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize