i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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