Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
