You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you made out with another girl for some wings
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
