The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
