he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize