You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
