My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
