It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I could fuck to npr.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
