Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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