We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
