Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize