so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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