The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
