i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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