At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
