wat bout pragnant strippers??
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
