I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
