O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
