Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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