you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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