She's JV to your varsity
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm eating all of the evidence.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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