Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
