The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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