Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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