Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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