I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
