wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
