I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
