Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
