I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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