Your tits are I can't wait for
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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