just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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