Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
