I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
