i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
