you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
