Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
