Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
His hands were made for my vagina.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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