please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize