..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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