Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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