I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
