it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
