But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
