so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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