and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I will be naked everywhere
whose ass print is on the piano?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize