How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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