one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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