Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i love accidental penises.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
