i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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