does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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