after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize