She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it was like eating out sand paper
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
