too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize