im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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