Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
