I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
